The Sweet Stuff

I got this from Betsy’s cousin (thanks Lisa!) – it’s an email sent to her from her husband about their daughter one morning – she (Heather) was four at the time:

From: xxxxxxxxx, Randy
Sent: Thursday, January 16, 2003 12:29 PM
To: xxxxxxxxx, Lisa
Subject: Heather’s am performance

FYI…story time for tonight has been revoked as a result of her “unsportsmanslike conduct” after mommy left this morning.

Attached is top 10 list reasons for losing story time this morning…
10. Excessive requests for saying goodbye to mommy.
9. Refusal to calm down in lieu of not getting to say good bye to mommy for the fifth or sixth time.
8. Pulling off the “Pony Tail” and demanding that mommy put it in again.
7. Refusal to put on coat in lieu of not getting new pony tail.
6. Excessive screaming in frustration of not getting one’s way.
5. Telling Dad “no”.
4. Removing safety harness straps from shoulders enroute.
3. Causing dad to “pull over” enroute.
2. Screaming “I forgot to bring the bunny” in lieu of reasons 5-10.
and the number one reason….
1. “Pissing Dad Off”

Following the cooling off period, she was asked if she understood why story time was revoked to which she responded……. “yes…because I was crying”.

I did fix a few spelling mistakes, which I suspect were caused by Randy’s state of mind at the time.

Note to self: Keep Sophie’s & Maggie’s hair short. At the rate that it currently grows, this should not be a problem.

I’m starting to go through parent shock … times two.

Maggie actually smiled at me the other day. And this time it wasn’t because she was making me a gift in her diaper. I verified it the only way I know how – I tickled her under her chin (which works on her sister and mother), and got another smile. It was that goofy ear to ear grin that you can make only when you have no teeth in you mouth. I’ll be making that grin in about 30 years or so if I’m lucky.

Sophie is sprouting up too – her vocabulary and ability to put together sentences cracks me up all day long. She is constantly telling me what to do, “Daddy, off the bed!” “Daddy, play on shoulders!” “Daddy, play sleep under da covers!” I have no idea what I’ll do once her sister starts talking. Then I’ll have three women telling me what to do. I don’t even have a workshop to go hide in.

I think I’ll follow the lead of another guy in the neighborhood (thanks Bob) – go grocery shopping. It’s going to become the new haven for city guys without basements. We’ll meet up in the dog food aisle and hang out for a few hours. Then we’ll return back home with a box of cheez-its and some ice cream, claiming “Boy, the lines were incredible! People were flocking there like it was the blizzard of ’78!”

The other thing I have started to do is take Sophie on little neighborhood trips – the most recent one was to the library, which consisted of her running up to a book shelf, pulling out a random book, exclaiming, “How about this one?” She then threw the book done, ran to another shelf, and started again. I am running after her, vainly trying to reshelf the books (yes, I know the signs say not to, but I am not going to get thrown of yet another library for excessive book pulling). Then we ride the elevator and go home.

I’m starting to read about the next phase of toddler development – potty training. From what I have read, it involves lots of stickers, lots of wipes, and lots of extra changes of clothes. I’m looking forward to it. Really. Of course, first I have to make a trip to the grocery store.

With today being Thanksgiving, it reminded me of so many Thanksgivings past…..

When I was young, we would have Thanksgiving at my Grandmother’s house….the table stretched from one end of the dining through the other end of the living room (she had 8 children, plus all the grandkids, plus some cousins). Of course, the kids sat at the kids “table”, which was the far end of the table (the furthest from the kitchen). We ended up at the mismatched chairs, jammed up against the random card tables slid together. My family were always the “late” people, which was a double curse since we always brought the crudite (a fancy word for cold vegetables, usually bought at the last minute and thrown together as we were rushing out the door). That incurred the evil eye and disapproving comments from my grandmother, who wanted everyone to be on time.

Later, we would all sit down to the (dry) turkey, slathered with gravy, with stuffing piled on top. Down at our end of the table, we never ended up with any of stuffing from the bird, but instead the basic stuff which was used to ensure that everyone had enough.

After dessert (which included yummy banana cream pie), we would all sit down to watch the game on the TV, which was one of the first remote control TVs ever. It was controlled by a real “clicker”, where the “click” caused the channels to turn. I’ll always remember the “Click..Clack” of the remote and the TV knob turning.

I’ve also had the saddest Thanksgiving ever, and it involved “Turkey Loaf”. But that’s a story for another day.

This Thanksgiving we have our own little tradition. Since Betsy & I are both from the Midwest, we don’t need to break out the card tables or the extra large bird. Instead we have other “orphans” over for dinner. Betsy’s “cousin” John, who is from the next town over in Ohio is our family. Aurelie & Thomas, who are from France (and have no family here) are welcome guests. They promised to bring over some apple pie, but she mentioned making it “Normandy style”, so I’ll bet it means it’ll be a little fancier than the pie grandma used to make.

Part of Thanksgiving is giving thanks…so here’s the short list: Two healthy and (for the most part) happy kids, a beautiful wife (who is also an excellent mother), our nice warm house, our family and friends, and a turkey that fits in our oven. I’ll get back to you on the stuffing.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The newest tenant for “Rent My Blog” is Motoki’s Log, a fascinating story about a little boy who was born three months early…his birth weight was 14 ounces! He’s now almost 17 months old (based on birth date), and is growing like a weed.

Check out his blog!

Sophie has reached that key milestone…she is now capable of keeping up with her dad in one respect – singing off key. It’s something that I’ve been really working on, and we’re finally getting results.

It started with “Bite-A, Bite-A, Bite-A”, which was a song that Sophie started singing over and over (and over) again. It took me a while to find out what it was…a Spanish song that the kids learned in music class, which goes something like “Donna Freda baile, baile baile baile”…which translates into Mrs Freda dances, dances dances dances. Of course, I am no help at teaching the song, or helping her to sing it. Instead, I have to depend on the Music Man to handle that for me.

About the Music Man
Sophie used to be in some hippy music class called Music for Aardvarks run over at the Charlestown Working Theater. They sang songs about how great it is to live in New York, and saying hello to kids named Blanche. These classes ran about $30 per session for a ten week class. We loved our Sunshine, and wanted to make sure she didn’t miss out on music.

Along came the Music Man. He was willing to play music in someone’s house for $15/kid for each session, and you could show up (or not) and it was no big deal. Yes, you guessed it – Sophie became a “Music for Aardvarks” dropout. She now learns songs from the Music Man.

I have to admit, though, it seems like a good gig. He shows up for an hour, collecting $15/head under the table, and just plays the guitar. He claims to have a girlfriend, but he enjoys singing falsetto a little too much, if you know what I’m sayin’.

Of course, he seems to be working it a little too. One week when I was home I attended the class held in our house (it rotates each week). At the end, everyone was pulling out tens and fives to give to him. Right at the end a nanny came up to him and said, “Sorry, I don’t have any change, do you have change for a twenty?” His response: “No, not here, but I have money in my car. Why don’t you come out there and I’ll get it for you.”

OK, what’s wrong here?

Anyone that lives, works, or even just parks in Charlestown knows rule #1: Never leave any money in your car. Rule #2 is if you violate Rule #1, make sure that you leave nothing more than change and old NH toll tokens. Music Man violated both rules….or so he said. I suspect it was a slick ploy to get a little one-on-one time with the nanny. Pretty smooth.

So now Sophie’s expanded her musical repitoire, and now includes such classics as:
“A B C D H J L P S T”
“Fi Fo Kitchen Dinah”
“Wheel on the bus go ound and ound”
“Right foot In, Turn about”
“I Love You, Ella Ella Moss” – Barney didn’t know he was teaching young girls to show such affection to each other

Of course, she has also learned more “popular” music:
“Round and Round” – Yes, that classic song by Ratt, which I think I taught her
“I’ll Tumble For You” – Another one that I taught her on the way to Gymnastics
“Get Down Tonight” – OK, I had the 80’s CD in the car, sue me.
“I Know What Boys Like” – Well, at least it’s something she’ll put to good use

I have seen postings from other Dad Bloggers talking about how they teach music to their kids – usually it’s modern classics like Sgt Peppers or Mozart or even Free To Be, You and Me (I still think fondly of those Garanimal days). When Sophie was in utero, we played Baby Mozart and Miles Davis. I don’t know how much it really helped, because she still prefers New Wave. Oh well, there’s always #2.

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If this makes no sense, tell me…it was written on three hours of sleep.

This is what I see when I am awakened at 2AM by Maggie Moonbeam and her need for the late-night feeding. Luckily this time my feet hit the floor first.

Metrodad wrote the other day the struggle he had about going on a fun-filled trip to Europe without his daughter. Like any good parent, he missed her terribly while he was gone, and swore that he would never leave her side again (OK, I’m stretching the truth on that part).

Watch what you blog, MetroDad….that commitment may come back to haunt you!

We have taken Sophie on all of our trips, including two trips to Europe and countless visits to our homeland, the Midwest (aka “Flyover States”). I think we’ve had enough experience and learning to be seasoned parental travelers. After all that first-hand knowledge, we’ve decided to never travel again.

Just kidding….but not really.

What does a major trip with toddler in tow entail?

1) Pack a bag for just the trip. Pack enough diapers so you’re not caught midflight (or midconnection) without any. You ever notice those cute shops in the airport? Ever see any diapers sold in them, let alone the Huggies LeakProof uber-absorbant ones (in size 4)? Same goes for food – you can scavenge only so many bar pretzels.

2) Don’t fall for the early check-in scam. Those airlines are so nice. They allow early check-in for people with kids. Here’s what happens – you end up getting on the plane first, heading back to your cramped seat (where the three of you fit into two seats), and wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait while every other seat in the plane fills up. Wait until that guy that always runs onto the plane the last minute gets there. You know, toddlers love nothing more than waiting. That’s really what they’re known for.

3) Don’t forget the toys. You always need to bring something to entertain while you’re stuck in the flying aluminum tube, but it can’t be too loud, big, or round. If you think losing a ball in the car is tough, just wait until that ball drops under the seat and rolls up to aisle 12, Seat J. And remember, don’t shoot your load too early by breaking out the toys before takeoff. You’ve got about 0.1% of all of her toys selected for the flight (asking of course which ones she’d like to bring), and 1/2 of them will no longer be interesting when you get them out.

4) Got Milk? Airlines don’t have milk on the planes. We found this out the hard way. Before she gave up the bahbah, we needed the equivalent of 1.2 cows along in order to statisfy Sophie’s milk fix.

5) Jet Lag…it’s not just for adults. We all know about jet lag, except it’s a tough concept to explain to kids, especially when you have a tough enough time getting them on a sleep schedule in the first place. The only upside of this was that on our last trip we went to Italy, where a toddler going to bed at midnight raises no (thick) eyebrows.

6) How do you say “diapers” in french? Unless you plan on bringing a U-Haul along on your trip, you will need to buy supplies while on your trip. Even when we were in the UK (a more-or-less English speaking country), it took us an hour to figure out which baby formula was right for our sunshine. The labels made no sense, there was “first milk” and “second milk”, formula for “hungry babies”, etc etc etc.

I remember the days of traveling to Europe with nothing but a backpack and a guidebook. Those days are over, much like the days of chugging a funnel full of beer, and staying up all night. Well, two out of three.

Update 11/17 – I didn’t realize what a popular topic this is….Dutch at Sweet Juniper had some similar comments, and mentioned one in particular that I forgot – grabbing the aisle & Window seats to “box out” the middle seat for the little one. It’s a sweet move, especially if you have a “baby in the bucket”.

This week’s blog renter is Francesca of “My Name is Francesca” (over in Wales, UK). Be sure to check out her blog, where she covers the trials and tribulations of being a mother of a very busy two year old. I know Sophie appreciates a child who loves curry like Noah does! Yumm!

She also talks about how all the blogs she reads are about sex…hmmm, what search terms are you using, Fran? I know I’m not finding that many, not that I’m looking or anything, er, umm…

Yes, I know. I suck. I will have a new one next week.