I was watching Miffy the other day (just checking out what Sophie watches), and after seeing a few episodes, I came to the inevitable conclusion – Miffy is nothing more than a shill for communism! Before you laugh, let me explain:
In one episode, Miffy is speaking to her father – she would like to have a doghouse for her dog Snuffy. I guess Snuffy has been sleeping down in Miffy’s basement, and now needs a place of her own. To get this space built, father will need some wood. Miffy suggests visiting Boris Bear (even the name drips with symbolism). She says that Boris has a lot of wood, and should have plenty to spare for the Miffy family. Father agrees, saying it’s a good idea.
Miffy goes to visit Boris Bear, who not only is more than happy to give them all the lumber they need, free of charge, he also offers to cut the wood so that all they have to do is simply put it together. They take the wood home, build Snuffy’s house, and all is right with the world.
Put it all together – Boris (the Russian Bear) is happy to give away his lumber. After all, he follows the tenet that those with the greatest ability should provide for those with the greatest need. Who has a greater need than a rabbit without opposing thumbs?
In the next episode, Miffy needs a dollhouse for her doll. Once again, Boris is the source for their supplies. Once again, Boris is happy to provide them with all their needs without thought of any remuneration. This time, however, there is a wrinkle. Along the ride home, Miffy’s doll somehow gets thrown from the car and is lost in the deep dark forest. The forest where only the strongest survive; the forest of Capitalism.
What can they do? Is the doll lost forever? Will she become just another prol in the service of the bourgeoisie? Don’t worry, all is not lost. Snuffy, who is now a full-blown Marxist, leaps down, and runs off into the forest. He returns shortly with the doll, saving yet another soul from the evils of big industry.
Don’t believe me yet? A few minutes later, there is another scene, this time a little game that the narrator plays with Miffy and Poppy Pig. What is the name of the game? “The Same Game” – that’s right, the goal of the game is to have both players with the same number of items. If that doesn’t scream redistribution of wealth, I don’t know what does!
After watching this display of the New Social Order, I was amazed. How could this be shown on TV in the greatest capitalist nation on earth? I realized that it was being shown on the only kids channel without commercials, “Noggin”. How can television exist without any advertising? Impossible. Unless, of course, it’s yet another way to separate us from our capitalist roots.
My solution? I did what I had to do. Now Sophie only watches a steady diet of “Wall $treet Week” and CNBC’s “Squawk Box”. I think we can still save her.
UPDATE: Due to a request from the fine folks at Van Doorne (lawyers for Mr Miffy), I have removed the drawing of Miffy.